If we are the body...

Tonight, as I left my amazing, amazing church, the Summit, I felt so lifted by the Lord and filled with the Holy Spirit. I hugged and loved upon my best friends as they got in to their car. We spoke about joining the church choir and other ways to get involved. The sermon had spoken and resonated so deeply within each of us. I just knew anyone who touched me could feel the love of Christ radiating from my skin, my bones... my soul. I hopped inside my own car and headed for home. I sang along to our local Christian radio and worshiped loudly and proudly. My ego had me thinking I was a vehicle of the Gospel, and my pride solidified my ego.

As I arrived home and started to rush in doors to escape this cold night, I was stopped by a neighbor who was headed out.

"What are you up to Allie?"

"I just got home from Church."

"You go to Church?"

"Yeah. I try to go every weekend with my friends."

"Oh, I had no clue you were Christian."

I was absolutely mortified, astonished, and worst of all... embarrassed.  What did he mean he didn't know I was Christian? Certainly, I was kind and giving, and I must more often than not follow in the footsteps of Christ with my actions. RIGHT!?? SERIOUSLY??!!

We said our goodbyes and I continued up the stairs. Each step feeling heavier than the last as my mind raced. I was so taken aback by his comments, and so utterly embarrassed that I couldn't make sense of any of my thoughts. I came inside my house and started to make dinner. I mindlessly began chopping vegetables and turning on the oven, and so many unimportant things... the entire time thinking of the events that had just occurred... when it dawned on me.

I was embarrassed  I was mortified. I was astonished... but for entirely the wrong reasons.

Again, my pride and my ego got the best of me. Yes, I want to be known as a Christian and a follower of Jesus to my friends and family, and those I come in contact with. But it should not be for my own glory, my own pride, and my own comfort. I should want these things because it helps to glorify God, it helps to spread the Gospel, and above all, my actions and words should bring others to Christ. In the wounds of my vanity, I was still failing to glorify and praise Christ. I was still thinking of myself and my reputation.

I want my future actions, words, praise, kindness... all to be for the glory of God, and none of it to be for my own selfish pride. None of it matters in regards to my reputation or what I am known for... None of it matters for me. I must make sure that I am bringing praise to Christ, I am winning souls for God, and I am spreading the Word of the Gospel.

If I open my heart. If I listen. If I pray... the Holy Spirit can and will work through me to make all of this happen. I need to remember that none of this is for me... It is all for Him.

Lord, help me to remember that while I am a unique individual, so is everyone else. I struggle with being easily frustrated and easily irritated. I must remember to approach all situations and people with the same compassion, love, and understanding Christ shows me on a daily basis. 

you must allow me to tell you...

While cleaning my house tonight, I decided to play one of my favorite books on iTunes, Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. It's simply splendid. Every time I read the book or watch the movie (Kiera Knightly or Colin Firth's version are both incredible!), I sob violently and dream of my own Mr. Darcy walking toward me at sunrise in a field. However, I quickly come to reality when I realize I'd look half as charming as Kiera in a pair of lawn gnome pajamas and a NC State sweatshirt. Until I can roam the English country side in a gorgeous peasant dress and beautiful leather boots at 5 AM like it's no biggie... I'll stick to beautiful photos and memes.