I've learned that I'm a pretty resilient individual. I've gone through more ups and downs than I could imagine... it seems like a lot more downs than ups. I always seem to make it back up the hill though with the help of the good Lord, wonderful family, and amazing friends.
I've learned that you don't make friends in your basement surrounded by dogs. OK... that might seem like common sense but the more I come to understand myself and my personality, the more I realize I'm not the extrovert I thought I was. I have always described myself as a people person and a social butterfly. Lies... all lies. The older I get, the more I enjoy time to myself, alone (alone = with my dogs), and watching amazing BBC television (*cough Doctor Who cough*). But all that glorious SciFi makes for a lonely person. I've been pushing myself to be more active, and go out of my comfort zone to meet new people and initiate new friendships. Cross my fingers that they all turn out to be life long friends (hope upon hope!).
I've learned that my faith never left me as I thought it had after the tragedies of my early twenties. The God I was so angry at for the loss of so many amazing people in my life has torn me down and rebuilt me to have a faith and a love for God stronger than I could have ever imagined. I could not have found that strength in faith and hope if it wasn't for one amazing church, Eagle Brook Church. The Church has encouraged to be a better daughter, a better friend, and to return to school and obtain a Masters in Divinity in Biblical Studies.
I've learned that I'm a horrible adult. So vague right? I have a lot of learning left to do. Things like managing my finances, managing my time, and taking care of my body and mind are utterly difficult things and often impossible tasks for me at times. But I'm learning...I'm trying, whatever that actually counts for. It seems like the idea of what an adult should be in my head and what I actually am never even come close to meeting. At times I know I deserve a little slack, but for the most part, I deserve a swift kick in the pants.
And the most important thing I've learned of all... I've learned that I love my family more than I could have ever imagined. Growing up, I wasn't intensely close with my brother like some relationships I know. In fact, we were the epitome of the brother-sister relationship. I was annoying, always tattling, always in the way, always breaking things and he was a bully, a teaser, and went out of his way to anger me. Fifteen years later, and I couldn't want a friendship more than I do with him. My brother is my unsung hero; a backstage manager if you will. He let me live my life but kept directing on the path he knew would be best for me. He took over when my father passed away, and he did a pretty good job filling his shoes the best he could. He even helped me fix a few messes and disasters. Go figure, me...the girl of disasters? This year though, he helped to bring a new life in to the world. Quinn Aubrey arrived in all her glory on October 2, 2014. The first of the Carver grandchildren. She is full of life and the love of my life. I'm not sure what God has in store for me and love and children. But I know I will be content looking out for this little angel the rest of my days.
So I guess despite all my wanting... I have a lot to be thankful this Thanksgiving. Maybe I should turn the Taylor Swift heartbreak tunage off and focus on what and who is around me. Maybe instead of drowning my sorrows in the bottom of a Moscato bottle, take a run and look at the glorious creation that was given to us by the Almighty.
