Southern dictionary.

Ah - The pronoun "I." i.e., "Ah done did that."
Ah'd - Contraction of I would. i.e., "Ah'd ruther be out huntin'."
Ah'll - Contraction of I will. i.e., "Think Ah'll mosey on down to the lake fer sum fishin."
buggy - A shopping cart.
daid - Dead. i.e., "They had to bury Billy Bob's dog 'cause he wuz daid."
fat - A physical confronrtation usually involving fists, but not always. i.e., "You youngins' best stop fatin' or I'm gonna whup your lil asses."
fer - For.
git - Get.
j'yoo - Did you? (Begins a question), i.e., "J'yoo go huntin' in Butcher Holler yesterday?"
mayrd - Married. i.e., "I heard that Bubba and Mary Jo got mayrd last week."
nanner puddin' - Bannana pudding.
Nawlins - Largest city in Louisiana. Known for it's jazz music and Mardi Gra Festival.
ruther - Rather.
snipe hunt - A practical joke that Southerners sometimes play on dumb Northerners.
sum - Some. i.e., "Want sum of my chewin' tabakki?"
tabakki - Tobacco.
thang - Thing.
thar - There.
ustacould - Used to be able to, i.e., "Bubba ustacould sing til' he got that frog in his throat."
whar - Where.
wuz - Was. i.e., "I wuz goin' to work today, but I think I'll lay out and go do sum fishin.'"
whup - To beat up. i.e., "Ifn's you knock my accent one more time, I'm gonna whup yore ass." Also, it can be used in the context of making something: i.e., "I'm a gitten hungry, think ahl whup up sumthin' to eat.
yawl - Contraction for you all. Sometimes written as y'all.
yonder - Afar. At a great distance. i.e., "Hey look over yonder! Bubba's a fixin' to drive his four-wheeler through that bog.
yore - Your.
youngin - A child. plural: youngins.

a little Southern hospitality ain't ever hurt no one...

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, “I got a flat tahr.”

The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”

The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.”

if the South woulda won...

education of southern women.

Some believe Southerners are uneducated hillbillies. Southerners are quite learn'ed, and southern women... well there's a reason their hair is so big... it's full of knowledge.

Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:

• Drinking straight out of a can
• Not sending thank you notes
• Velvet after February
• White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day

Southern girls know the three types of school:

• Ballroom
• Ballet
• Charm

Southern girls appreciate their natural assets:

• Dewy skin
• A winning smile
• That unforgettable Southern drawl

Southern girls know their manners:

• "Yes, ma'am"
• "Yes, sir"
• "Why, no, Billy!"

Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:

• "Y'all come back!"
• "Well, bless your heart."
• "Drop by when you can."
• "How's your mother?"
• "Love your hair."

Southern girls know their summer weather report:

• Humidity
• Humidity
• Humidity

Southern girls know their three R's:

• Rich
• Richer
• Richest

Southern girls know their vacation spots:

• The beach
• The beach
• The beach

Southern girls know the joys of June, July, and August:

• Summer tans
• Wide brimmed hats
• Strapless sun dresses

Southern girls know everybody's first name:

• Honey
• Darlin'
• Sugah

Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:

• "Gone With the Wind"
• "Fried Green Tomatoes"
• "Driving Miss Daisy"
• "Steel Magnolias"

Southern girls know their religions:

• Baptist
• Methodist
• Football

Southern girls know the seasons:

• Recruiting
• Spring Training
• Practice
• Football
• Needlework

Southern girls know their country breakfasts:

• Red-eye gravy
• GRITS
• Country ham
• Mouth watering homemade biscuits

Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

• Charleston
• Savannah
• New Orleans
• Birmingham

Southern girls know their elegant gentlemen:

• Men in uniform
• Men in tuxedos
• Rhett Butler, of course!

Southern girls know their prime real estate:

• The mall
• The country club
• The beauty salon

Southern girls can teach anyone to flirt ...

• Slowly lower your eyelashes.
• Listen carefully to everything he says.
• Speak r-e-a-l slow.

Southern girls know the three deadly sins:

• Bad hair
• Bad manners
• Bad blind dates