so you wanna move to the South?

ATTENTION ALL YA'LL VISITORS TO CAROLINA... HERE'S THA RULES!

• Pull up your pants and take that earring out. You look like an idiot.
• It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. So, drive or git outta the way.
• Yeah, we all started hunting and fishing before we started to school. Sure, we saw "Bambi" but we got over it.
• Go ahead. Bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod--but don't cry when a catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that little 10 inch bass you're fishing for--we call it "bait."
• That bent-over farmer did more work before breakfast than you do all week, including your visits to the gym. He doesn't need your respect but he surely DESERVES IT.
• If your cell phone rings while we're in the woods waiting on a buck, we'll shoot it. You might hope you don't have it to your ear at the time.
• If you bring "Coke" into our homes, it'd better be brown, wet, and best served over a glass of ice.
• You have a $60,000 car? We're not impressed. Heck, we drive tractors, cotton pickers and hay balers that cost a quarter million dollars--and we only drive them a few weeks each year.
• Yeah, we eat catfish, deer, rabbit, and squirrel. You want sushi? It's available at the bait shop.
• What's that? People are waving at you in your car and smiling at you on the streets? We call it being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
• Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped...by our women.
• Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
• We don't do "hurry up" well.
• Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. You want to put milk and sugar on them then you want cream of wheat -- go to Kansas. That would be west.
• The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.
• Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators -- and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called Diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.
• We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.
• You burn an American flag in our state -- you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature (all 4 of them) enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $10 fine for beating up the flag burner.
• We do not ever, ever, ever say the word you all, contrary to what Hollywood may lead you to believe. The word is y'all and it could be either 1 person or 101.
• Tea--yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You want it hot--sit it in the sun. You want it UN-sweetened--add a lot of water.
• And finally, we still believe in the Bible; that Jesus is the only way to get to Heaven because Adam's sin separated man from God. Don't you?