you hear a lot in the South.

Come below the Mason-Dixon line for day. You'll hear things you don't understand, things you THINK you understand, and things that just simply don't make sense in any language. However, there some things you will NEVER hear a Southerner say.

1. I'll take Shakespeare for $1,000, Alex
2. Duct tape won't fix that
3. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael
4. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken
5. We don't keep firearms in this house
6. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
7. You can't feed that to the dog
8. thought Graceland was tacky
9. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe
10. Wrasslin's fake
11. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
12. We're vegetarians
13. Do you think my hair is too big?
14. I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy
15. Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
16. Who's Richard Petty?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds
18. Deer heads detract from the decor
19. Spitting is such a nasty habit
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today
21. Trim the fat off the steak
22. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso
23. The tires on that truck are too big
24. I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad
25. I've got it all on a floppy disk
26. Unsweetened tea tastes better
27. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
28. My fiance, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's
29. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl
30. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams
31. Checkmate
32. She's too old to be wearing a bikini
33. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
34. Hey, here's an episode of Hee Haw that we haven't seen
35. I don't have a favorite college team
36. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side
37. I believe you cooked those green beans too long
38. Those shorts ought to be a little longer
39. Elvis who?